God Bless Abigail and Tender Feelings About Warren

Tonight, at dinner, a dejected-looking Warren says: "Abigail was the only person who voted for my costume in the costume contest at school today." God bless Abigail!

(Warren is a "Lost Boy" from Peter Pan. He really wanted to be this. So he has a full body koala bear costume he wears, like the animal costumes the boys in the animated movie wear. Then we put a black eye on so he looks a little tougher. We finished it off with a rustic-looking slingshot and a wooden baseball bat for a club. )

This morning, after Warren unloaded the dishwasher: "Mom! Unloading that big silver pot lid totally let me know what I wanted to be for Halloween next year: a kitchen warrior. I could use it as a shield and have paper plates for armor and use a butterknife as a little sword."

Tonight I looked at the webpage Warren is making about himself. In describing himself he wrote, "I like to play imaginary games and sports like baseball and soccer." Imaginary games. I wish I could always remember the way I feel about Warren right now--I don't think I could ever be frustrated with him again. Or that I could remember how grateful I am to Abigail for loyally voting for her brother. Surely I could never be impatient with a child like that. Sigh.

Quotable, from Abigail

"Abigail, what work did you do today at school?"

"I did research! I asked Ms. Sheri for a lesson on it."

"What did you research?"

"I researched butterflies. Butterflies are one of the most beautiful insects and there are...fifteen hundred to twenty-one hundred butterflies on Earth."

"Where did you do your research?"

"In the encyclo-millipede."

Lessons from My Daughters

Last night Madeleine said her prayers, and just after she finished, she opened her eyes, smiled and simply said, "I know Jesus loves me."

The previous night, Abigail was in the shower. She had just put conditioner in her hair, so I knew she would have some down time. I asked her to brush her teeth while she waited. Her reply? "Mom, I can't. See, what I do is, I dance." Sure enough, when I passed her the toothbrush, she was rocking out in the shower.

And again, last night, Madeleine woke up just an hour after going to bed, crying. I dismissed it a little, thinking it would stop, but Abigail, who was still up, went right in to comfort her. When I walked in, Abigail was sitting by her in bed, singing "I Feel My Savior's Love" while she patted her back. She has such compassion.

Moments from September

One day school was canceled for my kids, so they all got to have Tutu day and go to the splash pad with my mom. They were so excited waiting for her to come!
It was WWHS 50th Anniversary and I took my kids one afternoon to work on the 2000-2011 float. I was drawing this big Warrior emblem and having a hard time with proportions, so I laid Avery down and just traced her, then added some more muscles.
Abigail was so thrilled to get to help on a float. "Mom, I've been waiting my whole life to work on a float." Hilarious. She was really helpful, too. In fact, all three girls painted these feathers. Madeleine still has the blue paint in her hair to prove it.

Now that the 3 older kids are all practicing piano, Madeleine has jumped in right with them. She often insists, "I'm doing my practicing!" or "I need to do my practicing." In the picture above she is playing and singing, "DO is home."

I found this picture on the camera. I think Avery took it, but I'm not sure when. But those are M.'s pajamas, so I think it is one morning before I got out of bed. I don't let M. play the ipod, hence the total look of adoration in her eyes. She often protests, "I'm not 2, I'm 4!" since Avery is 4 and gets to play sometimes.
My kids enjoy pointing out Papo's political signs all over town. They get really excited when they see them, so naturally, Abigail made one of her own and stuck it in the yard. Referring to the side that is pictured first, she asked, "Are you allowed to do letters like this on signs?" You can see she decorated each letter with a different embellishment.
Today was our ward's Primary Children's Program in sacrament meeting. Kids 3-12 are the singers, speakers and even the piano players. Avery's part was, "There are many things we can do to gain a testimony of the scriptures. We can search, ponder and pray about the scriptures." Avery was very reverent and knew the words to the songs. Abigail could be heard over the primary on some of the songs and sang with gusto. No other word for it. She also played the violin for "I am Child of God" and was so cute standing on her little blue step-stool to make her visible. Warren played "Search Ponder and Pray" on the piano as all the kids walked up and he was great. He also gave a short talk about his baptism. It was all so sweet and I was very happy for them.

Answers to Prayers, Mother and Daughter

This morning after family scripture study, Abigail said, "I wish I could know if Jesus is real." I told her she could know, and asked Warren to tell her how she could know. He is learning the song, "Search, Ponder and Pray" on the piano, so I knew the answer would be ready. It was. He sang--improvising applicable words a bit:

Search, ponder and pray are the things that I must do.

The Spirit will guide, and deep inside I'll know that {Jesus is} true.

(It usually says, "scriptures are" in place of "Jesus is")

We compared the process to finding out if a note I'd left after school was really from me or not, or whether it was a made up note. Each time, there was a mock phone call (to represent a prayer) at the end to confirm what she thought about the validity of the note I'd left her. Then, we talked about Elder Bednar's counsel on receiving answers to prayers: sometimes it is like a light switch going on, and sometimes it is like a sunrise over the soul. We read a portion of "The Living Christ" and I asked her if she would pray about what she thought about Jesus sometime today, and said I'd check in with her at bedtime.

So after family prayer as she lay in bed, I asked her how her prayer went. She had forgotten and said, "I'll do it now." I was a little nervous; I wanted an answer for her right away that she could understand, but I know that it is up to God how He answers prayers, so as she prayed, I knelt next to her bed, and prayed alongside her that she could receive an answer as she prayed. When she finished, she was smiling; I asked her, "What happened?" She said, "I felt it." Big smile. "What did you ask?" I queried. "If Jesus was real and if the Book of Mormon was true."

I was so grateful for the answer to both of our prayers. I know it is a question she will ask again and again in her life, that one prayer at 6-years-old is not enough to last a lifetime. But I am so grateful that she has begun a foundation of her own now. She can build on that over and over again as she matures and grows. Each answer will come in a different way, but the answer will be the same. I am grateful for the faith, and the willingness to act on faith, of a 6-year-old girl.

Dance Recital, Spring 2011

Dancing has enriched our family far more than I imagined it would when I signed the girls up. Impromptu performances on the rug, learning to be prepared for class, family dance parties, more "shows" orchestrated by Abigail, time with friends, plans to teach their own dance classes when friends come over, and mixed throughout, little glimpses of lovely ballet form and movements. I just thought it would be fun and hoped they would feel more comfortable with their bodies than I did as a little girl; it has done that and so much more to make life truly sweet. Here are some pics from their dance recital last weekend, along with some comments made by various kids.


"Your neck is the 'beautifulest' bone in your body." --Abigail, quoting her teacher

"She needs a diaper wipe." --Madeleine, regarding the pirate-y smudges on Avery's face

Abigail and her best friend. She was so pleased they got be partners in all the dances.

Abigail's Kindergarten Graduation

Isn't she lovely in her white graduation gown? She also wore her favorite, poofy, pink dress underneath. A special dress for a special day.

I kept thinking how grown-up she looked, and seeing her seated by all these other girls that she looked so much older than only reinforced that idea. She sat so properly--just like in this picture--for most of the ceremony.
One special tradition out our school is that the kindergarten grads are escorted in by a member of the elementary class, a sibling, if there is one. So Warren was Abigail's dutiful escort. I love the admiration in her eyes.
About kindergarten Abigail says, "Baking cookies is fun, 'cause we baked cookies. Um, making Mothers' Day stuff is fun, too. Like cards."

What works do you think you did the most? "Handwriting and metal insets." Abigail also did a lot of button sewing onto square patches, and even stitched them into a quilt using my sewing machine. She was such a fast learner. She also really enjoyed flower arranging and has taken it up at home with all the wild roses, weeds and volunteer flowers from the yard. "Oh, I also loved sandpaper letters."

Tell me about your kindergarten friends? "We like to do works together. We play." Abigail loved having her friend C-------- at school with her this year and will miss her next year when they are at different schools.

Abigail at 6

I love this picture of Abigail. It embodies her spirit and personality. Thanks to Aunt Annie, Abigail awoke to a chalked driveway and heart-attacked lawn. The heart were originally scattered around the lawn, but in true Abigail style, she plucked them up and arranged them in a neat line, holding a few back to pose with in this next picture. Abigail loves to arrange, decorate and design.

For her birthday party, Abigail wanted to go to "the plant nursery" and look at flowers and feed the fish in the koi pond. All the children were so cute running around the nursery, exclaiming over plants and admiring flowers. We picked blackberries from a big bush the kids chose some flowers to buy. I asked them to stop for a picture, and this was what Abigail composed--smelling the flowers. You'll notice one friend had an encounter with the koi pond just before we took the picture below. They are all making their best fish faces.
After the visit to Harper's Nursery, we went to the AZ Museum for Youth and played in the fairytale exhibit. We acted out a few stories, did a puppet show, made some crafts, read a few stories and had a great time. Abigail loves to dress up and has a flair for putting on shows. Then we went to our house for ice cream.
A few weeks ago Abigail said, "For my birthday I want kitchen stuff like Avery got for hers." So I looked through the Montessori catalogue and with Warren's help, chose some items that would be fun and useful for Abigail. They were a crinkle-carrot slicer, kid chopsticks, cutting boards, an apple corer and slicer, mini-souffle ramekins and a melon baller. It looked like a bridal shower. But Abigail was pleased and she really likes to help in the kitchen and prepare food by herself. She was also thrilled to get this cute cake-making set from her grandma.

The gift I really want to give Abigail is to change my way of being with her. The last few months have been rough for us. So many behaviors I see her do I recognize, painfully, she las learned from me. Even the ones she hasn't, I am often overly critical of, like always wanting to do and like what her friends do and like. She is so grown-up in so many ways, but that can be deceiving when I then create unrealistic expectations for her. I struggle just to have fun with Abigail. I want to invest in her emotional bank account more. I have made a lot of withdrawals lately, and I have got to do better. I told her last week that we were quitting violin. I'm not sure I meant it. I know it could be a lovely experience, but mostly, I just go into psycho-cranky mode when we need to practice. Her teacher is gone for several weeks, and so I think we will take another week off from practicing, because really, I think I am toxic to the whole experience. I will make a lot of "deposits" this week--time together, books read, hugs, lying in bed together to talk--just normal stuff. Then maybe we'll try practicing again.

Mainly Madeleine

Can't you just see how pretty she feels? No, those are not black-eyes; Abigail has a makeup box. I think Avery did the job. Madeleine is so full of fun. Last week as she leaned out the window, she said, "I'm don't falling!" and was so proud. Another time, the children were playing together outside when Madeleine came in alone and matter-of-factly reported to Andy: "I hit Avery." "Oh," he replied, "Do you think you should have some uh-oh time?" She yelled out, in perfect imitation of some older sisters, "I'm going!" and stomped off to her room. A few days later, Madeleine hurried past me in the hall into her bedroom, explaining she was going to time-out and just seconds later, Avery began crying at the table, "Madeleine bit me!" Maybe she will begin to exercise the self-control before she hits or bites next time.

Madeleine loves music, and she sings very well. If we are driving without music on, she calls out, "Music, momma." She often starts singing songs I didn't know she picked up, but I was still surprised when she sang in Spanish last week, "El gallo se murio ayer. Ya no cantarra, 'cucuri, cucura.'" When I ask the other kids to identify a solfeggio pattern I hum, more often than not, Madeleine eagerly responds first--with the right answer.
This is Madeleine's best friend. I put this picture in not just for archival purposes, but because it reminded me of something. Madeleine gets her binky at night, naps and sacrament meeting. She loves it dearly. So sometimes when she sees another child not using a binky that he/she is attached to, Madeleine can't understand why they would pass on the opportunity and tries repeatedly to stuff it into their mouth.

Beside all the other times we pass the Westwood football field, we also pass it every Sunday on the drive home from Tutu's. Our kids usually call out, "Go Westwood!" This soon evolved into the same script every Sunday evening:
Child 1: Go Westwood!
Child 2: They don't play on Sunday!
Child 1: It's not Sunday! (though sometimes it is)
Well, recently Madeleine and I drove by the field without any other children in the car. Madeleine carried out the whole "conversation" herself. "Go Westwood! They don't play on Sunday! It not Sunday!" She even varied the inflection in her voice.

She loves her gold, sparkly shoes and putting on her shoes by herself. Now that I am improving at doing the older 2 girls hair each morning, she comes in the bathroom right after, climbs on the step stood and says, "My turn, mommy." She often dresses herself in the morning before I am even out of bed; the only complication is the only drawers she can open are Abigail and Avery's, so the outfits she puts together are usually too big, as in the picture below. Last Saturday the girls decided to give up their own "special drawers" so Madeleine could have 2 drawers she could reach in the room they all share together. It was Avery's idea. Abigail, especially, got a kick out of teaching her which drawer was "tops" and which was "bottoms." I was so proud of them.

Getting in to Giving

Warren's class is doing a Secret Santa gift exchange all week. Today he told me he gave the little girl he has "broken rocks--the shiny kind that have some crystal in them." Hmm. I was a little worried. But then he really got excited when I suggested he make a coloring book. He chose 24 pictures and printed them, punched them and tied them into a coloring book. He had me do the cover writing so she wouldn't recognize his writing; I had to explain that 2nd grade boy handwriting his pretty hard to disguies, even if you try to write "really ugly" as he suggested. Still, he couldn't hold back when he got into it and dres some jewels and a princess after coloring the lettering in. After he drew the princess--which Abigail had been BEGGING to let her draw--he asked her, "I drew a princess dress, and I'm not sure if it looks bad. Abigail, does it look good?" "Yeah--actually, no" replied Abigail. Since I had just given a lesson about gifts from the heart, I chided, "Abigail, is that a gift from the heart to say that?" To which, Warren responded enthusiastically, "No mom, it's good Abigail told me the truth. I really wanted to know if it looked good or bad."
Warren also made a purse with some small paper trinkets, and on the back cover of the coloring book, he taped a pocket, decorated it with fun foam and put in a coupon redeemable for "one paper airplane made by [him.]" He is so excited to give his gifts.

2010 Thanksgiving Parade

Madeleine didn't get into the festivities so much.

LOVE love LOVE this picture of Avery.

Strung out along the parade "route."

Yes, Warren carried the "house" to symbolize he was thankful for his house.

My Abigail

Tonight for family night we made cards/tags/ornaments; whatever you could do with self-adhesive foam and paper. Abigail kept saying, "Tonight is so fun, isn't it?" and "I like you mom." From the child who has taken to saying "Whatever" whenever she gets frustrated with me or the situation, this is music to my ears. It reminded me how much Abigail thrives on creativity.
A few weeks ago, she made this HO HO HO banner all by herself. She chose the paper, cut it, punched it, strung it, did the writing. She even took it outside for a photo shoot. She set it up just like she'd seen me do in my Etsy shop. Then when she was done with this one, she stamped 4 of her own HO HO HO banners, modeled after mine. She proudly gave them to her friends and our neighbor. I have got to go over and get a picture of it hanging in his house. It is pure Christmas lovin'.

Every year at school, there is a Thanksgiving feast, and this year Andy carved the turkey. This is a big event, and everybody watches you and your skill--or lack thereof. It was getting a little long, so I asked the kindergarten/preschool class if they could sing "Dry Bones" as Andy carved, since he had just told them about the bones. They agreed to do it and Abigail immediately sprang into action, coming up front and facing her class to lead them in song. She loves to lead and organize.

Also every Thanksgiving is our very small and very homegrown children's parade. This year was so busy I almost skipped it, but I knew it meant a lot to Abigail, so we did it. She made her own "float" to pull. All I did was tape the banner on the side. She also chose her outfit, an old dress of my sister's that we keep in the dress-up bin. Abigail just loves it.

Why We Have Family Meals

It's Sunday and we are all in the backyard, eating mac and cheese (thank you Joyce Packard for teaching me how to make the real stuff!), swinging, talking and climbing on the fort. (My kids also tell me there is a worm garden somewhere, but I haven't seen it yet.) I am lying on the trampoline, silently laughing at Warren's latest question:

"Why is a bowl of macaroni and cheese the opposite of a swimming pool?"

Really?! What is going on in there? He explained, a bowl of mac and cheese is hot at the bottom and cold at top, but a swimming pool has it's hottest water at the top and the coldest at the bottom. (To her credit, just moments before, Abigail informed us to "Always take from the top, and not the bottom." I thought she meant like in the grocery store--don't take the cabbage from the bottom of the pile. But she meant mac and cheese.)

On Monday we were eating breakfast together and Warren asked, "Is that company that McKane's brother owns going to put the Christmas video on YouTube this year?" (For the past 2 years Scrapbook.com has made a Christmas video featuring employees kids answering Christmas questions. Our kids still think they are supposed to give the "right" answers, not realizing how funny the "wrong" ones are. Like the first year, the cameraman sat W down and said, "We're going to ask you some questions," and W queried, "Are the math problems?" Last years video is the one at the top of the page) Anyway, back to story. Andy replied, "No, they're going a different direction this year." Warren looked a little sad and Abigail protested, "But I know better this year!"

Shorts

from Warren as I lay in bed next to him after reading "Geronimo" together:

"The only hard part about staying awake is my eyes; they just want to shut. My body is full of energy but my eyes can't stay open."

from a stranger as he held the door for Avery:

"She is a really beautiful child."

I used to worry about Avery because she looked so much like me.

A sweet moment with Abigail:

We went to Maricopa Stake's Evening of Excellence to hear some music I helped notate and ended up staying. We sat side by side for an hour. I had my arm around her. After a few minutes, she freed her arm from my side and stuck it behind my back. It didn't even reach all the way across. I can still feel the warmth of her small hand.

Madeleine is talking so much, but her singing is even better. She sings along with the kids' LPM CD's, and not just on the normal words--she does the sol-sol-do and mi-re-do parts. She loves to sing. She is fearless. I took her on the climber at the Children's Museum of Phoenix and she went all over, gaining confidence to go further each time, despite seeing the ground 15 -20 feet below, or being up against a wall of clear glass.

This reminds me of family night on Monday. I blindfolded each of the kids one at a time--in the dark, outside--and walked them at least 100 feet from our house. In Warren's case, across the street by a cactus-filled yard, then asked them to find their way home. I asked each if they wanted help and offered directions. As I watched them stumble in the dark, hands outstretched, W with a goofy grin and Abigail with tiny nervous steps, I was suddenly overwhelmed with humility for the trust these children place in me. Not one of them gave up or got angry with me; they trusted every direction I gave them, even when they didn't understand. I wondered if I was worthy of that pure trust.

Why am I blogging again? I can't let these moments be forgotten.

In Which Abigail Gives a Gift

Abigail has a very good friend, Gabriel, who she loves dearly. As she gets dropped home from school by his mom each day, she calls out, "Tell Gabriel I love him!" This behavior isn't limited to Gabriel, but, he might be the most frequent recipient. Anyway, growing up has been hard on their friendship, at least from Abigail's perspective. Just last week she was telling me she wasn't sure they could be friends anymore since, "All Gabriel ever talks about is Batman, and sometimes I want to talk about princesses and stuff." Really, she mentioned it several times over a few weeks. Well, Gabriel had a birthday and Abigail must be gaining perspective on the give and take of friendship because she requested we give him:
-a CD of "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells"
-a coloring book of Batman
-a picture she would draw of Batman

I made the recording, just accompaniment for him to sing to, and she is so excited to give it to him. After school today, we printed off several Batman coloring pages she chose for him. After stapling them together, she made a cover for the book: CULRE GABREL and colored it all in. She drew the picture of Batman and friends--I know Batgirl was there, but there were more--yesterday. Of course, she selected her own gift bags and couldn't resist giving them to him when she saw him today.

Later I got this email from his mom:
"I just had to share with you how excited Gabriel was about the gift Abigail gave him. He loves it so much! He already colored all the pictures while he was at Grandma's tonight. Then when he was finished, he dictated a story to Grandma for each page. When he got home, he wanted me to read the story to him for bed. Daniel said that he was asking all sorts of questions about growing up, getting married and if he would remember being little. It eventually came out that he was worried that he would forget to marry Abigail when he grows up.
I just can't stop laughing and smiling at how cute they are!"

What a sweet gift from the heart.

Preschool and Avery

Avery,

You started preschool this month--September 2010. I almost waited to have you start--you are so sweet to have around, but you wanted to go so much! Every time we've visited Warren and Abigail's school before you've always been wide-eyed and engaged by all the "works." The night before your first day was Preschool Open House; W&A had already attended their open house, so I just planned to take you, but Abigail was begging you to let her go. After much pleading, you told her she could come, "If you wear Sunday clothes."

You were so delighted to find your name on a cubby, and you pointed out all the letters. You are really good at this. Often as we drive, you call out from the backseat, "I just saw 2 letters from my name! A & V" or whatever letters you saw. You ask me what signs say, and often ask, "What is this word that has a {letter} in it?"

As I watched you both, spontaneously holding hands, walking together into this new phase of life, I was so grateful you have each other. I hope you are always dear friends like you are now.
The next morning, you were thrilled to be getting out of the car at drop-off. All your life you've stayed and called out your goodbyes and I love you's. Now you were going. You were bursting with excitement.

It's been 3 weeks now, and tonight you were telling Aunt Tiffany--via email--about preschool. This is what you said:
"I did button work. [long pause] Um, you get a sponge and there is water and a plain bowl and you dip it in and you put it into the plain bowl. And I did --I know one, I know one! Puzzles! And then--that's all. No, I did another work. A hammering work, and then a pouring work where it has green things and you put it into the plain one. A pink tower. I think that's all. Oh, play time outside, and then you wash your hands when you're going inside and then you sit down at gathering again and they pick someone to get--to set the tables, and I did one time one day. They picked us to go back to gathering again after we did that and get our lunch boxes. And we didn't have to go the fridge, because some people got them out. And then we get up and we get all our dishes and put them in the dishwasher and go back to the table and we get choosed by the table leader--we go like this, we point to each other--to close our lunch boxes and line up by the door and sit on the benches and wait for our moms and dads. Oh one more thing--when we, when we, when we, hmm, when moms pick us up and then we sometimes go with Gabriel's dad, or Nicci--she's Gabriel's mom--or our mom picks us up. And that's all."
It took about 5 minutes of chatter interspersed with thought-filled pauses. You were so animated. Pure delight.