Ducks in a Row

Whilst in Washington this summer, we visited the Ridgefield Wildlife Park. We drove the beautiful path through the park and also walked a little trail about a mile long. It was a warm day in the sunshine, and pretty soon Warren removed his shirt. (After a few minutes, Avery did, too.) The kids got tired and a little cranky-whiny, but there were little treasures along the way: tiny green frogs on the bridges, bugs in the grass, signs to read about napping turtles, spider webs in tree branches that glittered in the sun. With all the changing landscape, I felt like I was in that old computer game Oregon Trail, but with much better graphics. Warren took pictures along the way, I had Madeleine strapped to me, and by the end of the trail, was pushing Abigail and Avery in Madeleine's stroller.

The best treasure we discovered, was more along the line of life's lessons. At one especially whiny, thirsty, hot moment, I remembered the family home evening lesson I had given just the night before, about the Mormon pioneers and their trek west. We had started with the song, "Pioneer Children Sang as They Walked" and ended with the song "Come, Come Ye Saints." At both points, I emphasized how singing had helped pass the time and lightened the hearts of the pioneers. So now here we were the next day, on a hard-packed trail, without any water and with lots of tired little legs. We talked a little bit about the lesson of the previous evening and decided to try it out. So we sang as we walked, and walked and walked. And it worked. The children perked up, we laughed, we smiled. Best of all was to hear Abigail relate the tail to her dad that night, essentially sharing her testimony that music really can change your mood and lift your heart above the cares of the world.
*note: Warren is wearing his favorite pants; he calls them his waterproof pants and they are a size 4 and highwater --much more so now--and he loves them anyway

Fast forward a month, and tonight I had another sweet experience that I thank Heavenly Father for sharing with my children. Our old neighbor around the corner, Alta, was moved into a care center a couple years ago. We met her because my dear mail lady let me know that she needed some visitors. That was the beginning of our friendship. Now we go and see her in the Care Center around the other corner. The kids, especially Warren, did not want to go tonight. They didn't voice any specific reasons, but I remember what it felt like to visit "the rest home" when I was a kid. I don't think I felt very excited, either. We went anyway, and before we got out of the car, we had a prayer in the parking lot that we would be able to feel God's love for those who we would visit and joy in visiting them. As we walked down the stinky halls, Warren still expressed his desire to be elsewhere, and I asked him if he thought he could be like Jesus, and go to those places and to people that other people didn't want to go. Warren replied, "But Jesus wanted to go to those places!" "Yes," I said, "because He loved those people. Do you think if you say a prayer in your heart that Jesus will help you feel His love for these people that you will?" I'm not sure he replied. But when we got to the room where Alta and several other elderly folk were, I got my answer. Warren walked right up to Alta and said, "Alta, I just got a haircut tonight, so I might look different from the last time you saw me. I'm in first grade." Then he stayed near her as we talked to her. After a few minutes he noticed the games in the corner and asked Alta if he was allowed to play one with her. So they played a round of Connect Four. So, just in case you were wondering, God still answers prayers, and miracles still happen. God does speak, and tonight He spoke to the heart of a 6-year-old boy.

1/2 Year Old Madeleine

This month Madeleine went on her first airplane--a trip with mom and dad to Colorado. She was great, and all the people on the flight who saw her were enamored with her cute smile and excitement.

Speaking of that cute smile, it has no teeth yet, but I think they are just around the corner, as she drools a lot and is sleeping lousy. However, her naps are great most of the time, and that is wonderful: 2 two-hour naps a day, at least.
Madeleine loves to eat; she even signs "eat" when she wants solid food. A few times she has signed "milk", but "eat" is much more obvious as she repeatedly knocks both fists into her mouth. Tonight she was signing it and my dad couldn't stop laughing at how urgent she looked.
She can sit up for a few minutes at a time, but is still a bit wobbly. And a few days ago, she scooted herself a little backward on the rug.
Since last month, she has started liking other people (read: not just her mom and dad). She still cries for others some times, but she often lets them hold her, even for long periods of time. Yeah!
I think the defining characteristic of Madeleine right now is her grunt. She grunts. A lot. For a long time. Sometimes, a constant rumble from the backseat. Other times at awkward moments. Like the persistent rumble of an engine or the grinding of machinery. You get the idea. (Though the grunting might be rivaled by her ability to spit up at unpredictable times and in large quantities.)

Colorado

Last weekend, Andy, Madeleine and I went to Colorado for business, with the added bonus that Casey and Tiffany live in CO, so we got to chill with them all weekend. On Saturday night, we went to Rocky Mountain National Park. This first picture was taken partway up the mountain.

This picture was taken at the top, with an elevation of approximately 12,000 ft. Notice the changed color of our skin and the glacier. It was 55 degrees and a bit windy.

There were so many elk along the side of the roadways. It was neat to hear them bugle to each other, and to see them in groups. See how close to the road this one was?

Madeleine and CJ hung out on the floor; Casey and Andy golfed and Tiffany and I tried out new recipes in the kitchen. We made Nie's Chocolate Cake, and it was divine. I don't like cake all that much--it is too light and fluffy, and except for the frosting, generally tasteless. But I loved it and will be making it for my birthday next year. (And for anyone else in my family who wants it :)
I love living in someone else's world for a few days, since it always helps me see my world through new lenses. Tiffany inspired me to be more deliberate in teaching my children numbers, letters, anything. And Casey inspires me to enjoy each part of my day--whether it be studying or adventures or playing on the rug. Thank you to Casey and Tiffany for a great time! (And sorry that I am lame about taking any pictures of us baking.)

Sleep That Unwinds the Weary Care of Day

I got a phone call from my mom today, it went something like this: "Bekah, Grandpa is going downhill pretty quickly. He is coming home from the care center tomorrow, and he has decided not to have any more dialysis treatments." There was a bit more, but you get the point.

So tonight, my sisters, mom and I drove out to see Grandpa. When we got there, he was sleeping. In sleep, he reminded me of watching my babies sleep when they are so new--so tired, so tired, as if just the work of being awake and mortal was so much work. He awoke briefly, and greeted Sarah with his characteristic, "Hi Darling," and she told him who was there. He asked, "Samuel?" (my little brother, who wasn't there). So much work to be awake. He drifted back to sleep before we finished explaining Sam wasn't there. It felt strange to all just stand around looking at him as he slept, so we sang to him. You Are My Sunshine. I am a Child of God. I Need Thee Every Hour. The Lord is My Light. Lord, I Would Follow Thee. And then we traded little memories of Grandpa--picking peaches in the heat of summer, hot dogs at the car dealership, graduations and birthdays, snippets of conversations. Then I kissed his forehead, said "I love you," tacked a picture of my girls up on the wall, kissed him again, said "Thank you," and walked outside. The car stereo was playing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing, "Oh My Father," right at the last verse where the words are: Then at length when I've completed all You sent me here to do, with Thy mutual approbation let me come and dwell with You. It was a beautiful moment to ponder the words, "completed all You sent me here to do" with respect to my Grandpa's life, worn out in the service of helping others.

As I think of my Grandpa and see him in these old photos, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of all that is unsaid, all that I don't know about his life, his family. I'm sure my dad, his siblings and others know the answers to so many questions that I don't even know to ask, but suddenly I am left wondering if I cared enough. Living as close as I do, was I too casual and not deliberate enough in my interactions?

As much as I wonder about the collective past, I realize that each moment with a person is a gift; whether there are 1000 moments or one. It is my gift to know my Grandpa as my Grandpa; it was someone else's gift to know him as a father, a son, a mechanic, an AA sponsor, a child, a stranger, a student, a baby. My gift is today, now. And all those moments over my years with Grandpa that were untouched by thoughts of separation are beautiful in their simplicity, beautiful in their normality. And I have a new moment to add, watching Grandpa sleep at the end of a long day.

Gunny and a Steady Diet of Tylenol and Cake Batter

Meet Gunny. A few ground rules to know about Gunny: Gunny comes out each night around 9 to eat leftover toys. He doesn't eat shoes or lunchboxes--my kids wanted those points clarified. Gunny moves quickly when no one is cleaning, but he gets very slow if people are cleaning or as we call it, "protecting their toys." Gunny is bulimic. He throws up after 3 nights of a clear bedroom floor. If he gets overly full, he throws up into a D.I. bag. (Abigail's greatest fear, I think).

Gunny has transformed our house. After Washington, we started nightly "quiet time/cleaning time" with the kids. Starting about 8, you can be in your room quiet for as long as you like, or you can be up cleaning with mom and dad, or you can go to sleep at any time. Most nights Warren has big plans for staying up and yet, 3 minutes into quiet time, he is fast asleep in his bed. Avery struggles a bit--we're still working out the kinks with her. But Abigail, ahhh, this is a beautiful thing. Abigail used to lie in bed awake for upwards of an hour, totally quiet and still before falling asleep. No more. Gunny has harnessed that untapped power for good, and now Abigail cleans every night and then goes to bed. She really is good at it, it is so helpful and she likes it. She said tonight, "I feel happy in my heart when I help with cleaning and our house is clean." As Gunny was very full of toys, she also pointed out to me that he looked like he had a mouth. She was right. And no wonder he was frowning. Look at my kitchen. (But please don't look too long or too closely :)

I think I need a Gunny sack. Umm, this is what happens when you bake 2 giant cupcake cakes, 2 dozen cupcakes, make frosting, frost and decorate said baked goods, have 3 friends over to play throughout the day, go out to lunch for your mom and aunt's 50th birthdays, have an infant with ear infections (again) who you had to let fall asleep on you last night so she would stop screaming (and thus didn't get yesterday's kitchen projects cleaned up) and have a broken dishwasher. (Oh, and your sweet husband unloads the trunk of your car in the kitchen because he is loading up the guitar and keyboard in the trunk since they need to go the party, too.) (And you are singing at the party with your sister, so you practice your act and record the music for it, rather than clean a bit before you go.)

But it's all good. Check out this progression of shots. Smiles get a little strained as the cupcake-jealous infant's cries get louder throughout the 3 shots. We lose Avery's attention; not sure I ever had Abigail's. Warren is doing his part to hold it all together. Ha. I love photos like this. Happy Birthday Mom and Aunt Julie! And thanks to Aunt Julie, who while we were out to lunch, counseled me (wisely) that sometimes you just have to do things at C level, as in, sometimes your projects are A+, some days are just C days. Mine might have been C-. But thanks to her, I bought the pre-made frosting for the lemon cupcakes and smiled at my huge mess, knowing it would still be there for me to work on when I got home. At least some things in life don't leave without you or expire.