Madeleine at 3 Months

This is a happy Madeleine. When Madeleine is not happy, we affectionately call her "Sadeliene", and it usually means she has gas, or this month, ear infections. But even with those, she was still a very happy baby.

Here is a snapshot of her life at 3 months:
-still breastfeeding exclusively
-sleeps through the night (never have any of my children done that anywhere near this age, and she actually started that a month ago)
-very social--she smiles at everyone who will make eye contact with her
-just started gripping/grabbing and trying to maneuver objects--clothing, binkeys in her mouth, my finger
-sleeps best swaddled in her stinky pink blanket
-still sleeping in a basket
-loves a binkey
-very durable--survives the love of 3 older siblings
-not so fond of baths--totally my fault for not exposing her to that event enough
-still wearing cloth diapers
-laughs periodically
-naps about 4 times a day

I was unable to capture this phenomenon, but if I kiss her cheek--like in this picture--she opens her mouth really wide and turns her face toward mine, thinking that she will get to eat. It cracks me up.

Look Mom

"Look Mom--I have 2 pretzels up my nose. {big smile}" --Avery
(Sorry for the blur, but I had to share)

Kindergarten Graduation

Last Monday, Warren graduated from kindergarten at Montessori House. I have learned a lot from kindergarten, and so has he. Here are the things that I have learned:
It's okay if my child wears the same shirt 3 days in a row to school.
There are 2 kinds of smart: do-what-your-teacher-says-smart, and think-for-hours-on-end-about-life-and-what-your-teacher-says-smart. I am the first type. Warren is the second.
Warren loves bugs and science.
There is a boys and girls team at playground time, and Warren generally plays on the girls' team. So do most of the other boys.
The names of various cacti.
Warren is not to be rushed in the morning.
Recognizing that knowledge is more within each of us than without, and that a teacher is the instrumentality by which that knowledge is drawn out.
Warren loves to kiss me goodbye in the morning. Don't try skipping this for the sake of time--it will backfire and cost more time.
It is better to diffuse the conflict in the backseat than to solve the problem. Diffusing the conflict by distraction or changing the environment works better.
Realizing that learning is guided most by interest, and least by pressure or expectation.
The moment after a child gets in the car or gets home from school is not a good time to ask about school. Wait. Ask later.
Having a snack ready when Warren gets home from school=love.

Warren says he learned the following:
"I only remember one thing, and it's...I actually remember two things. I learned that raisins could float in vinegar and baking soda, and that you could turn a flower or celery red if you put it in food coloring water."
[Oh...and how to write in cursive and print, read, add 4 digit numbers, borrow in subtraction, carry in addition, count by 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, 6's, 7's, 8's, 9's and 10's, have manners at the table, the names of the continents, what a compound word is, the life-cycle of a caterpillar, how to make good choices about how to use his time and several other social graces, life skills and physical representations of abstract concepts that will manifest themselves later...but hey, does any of that really compare to a dancing raisin?]

Each kindergartner was escorted in by an older student. This was Warren's escort. Many kids had their older sibling escorting them, and the thought of Warren escorting Abigail or Avery or Madeleine someday made me a little teary, but only for a second :) Congratulations Warren! I am so proud of all the work you enjoyed this year, of the thoughtful child you are and all the skills you learned because you had faith in yourself and your teachers' guidance. And thank you for being my teacher, too.

Bekah at 27

Today was my birthday. I didn't really do anything to make it special, but I was inspired by a sweet and funny poem my cousin's husband wrote her. So I used it as a template to write reflect on myself. All the capitalized words are his, the rest are mine. My poem is not funny or rhyming. It could've had a lot more I WORRYs in it, and I'd have filled them all. Those were much easier than the I LOVEs. I could've put the obvious--like naming each of my children, but I wanted to learn about myself. So I searched a little within. So as you read, in the words of a song I sang in junior high, "tread softly, tread softly, you tread on my dreams."

I LOVE to read children’s books with my kids,
I LOVE being home for week-nights.
I NEED more help than I’m willing to admit to myself to keep my home clean, my mind uncluttered and my heart happy.
I ALWAYS KNOW that Sarah will be there with a treat and a phone call.

I LIKE to bake desserts and to make banners.

I LIKE listening to talks by people I admire as I work to make those banners.

I WORRY that my banners and music classes will take too much time from being a mom, that I am too busy.
I WORRY that I will never have a house that meets my needs.
I WONDER if we will ever live in Paris again. I loved Paris with my children.

I CAN GUARANTEE that God will support you in all your trials and troubles and frustrations and blue days.

I CAN'T have a successful garden and 4 young children in AZ all at the same time.
I AM GLAD that my kids are quick to forgive me, and that it rained tonight. I love the rain.

I LOVE my husband.

I WORRY about being the mom each of my children needs, about how to connect with Avery better and about Madeleine’s cough tonight. And if I have irreparably damaged Warren’s ability to clean by the anger those attempts often brings about.

YOU BALANCE in life is an illusion, you just do what you need to do when it needs to be done.
I CAN BALANCE a Kapla block tower and all of our various financial accounts—but I have got to make time to do it.

I WISH that I were better at nurturing friendships.
I WORRY about things I say long after I have said them and sleeping in too late. A lot.

I WANT to be more grateful
BECAUSE it will open my mind and give wings to my heart and manna to my soul.

Abigail at 4 Years

Sweet. That is the one word that describes you the most. Closely following are happy, optimistic, resilient and musical. Your face is so expressive--watching you open presents was so entertaining, as each gift was met with pure adoration, like when Warren played you a song on the piano for a gift. Look at your face here :) This year was a big year for you. You celebrated your last birthday in Paris. You potty-trained when we got home. You took ballet and tap, and then decided to take a break. You started preschool in the fall. So many times Ms. Nikki said to me, "I've never given that work to a 3-year-old before." You love making friends and fill me in on the events of each day with lots of detail and excitement. You left nursery at church and became a Sunbeam. You love learning the songs in primary, and last week you gave the scripture for the first time. In January you also started playing the violin. I am learning so much from you as we practice together each day. You help me be more playful and imaginative, less driven and hurried.

You still love to do makeup with me, and you tolerate me doing your hair on Sundays; every other day is your day to choose. Pink is not just your favorite color, it's a lifestyle. You love writing letters, coloring and cutting. Although you profess to not like boys because of Warren, along with Avery, he is your best friend, and you two can often be found flooding the sandbox together.

You have an innate sense of your infinite worth, which gives you a confidence and buoyancy that make you very delightful to work with. You are quick to forgive and to make things right. Because you have a beautiful heart, you see beauty all around you, all the time.Dad discovered this self-portrait on the back of your primary picture today: you in a princess dress, smiling, with "4" written backwards all around you. You have a happy heart.

You give compliments freely and you love being recognized as "helpful." You share your happiness by writing "cards" and "letters" to people. Hence the gift of your own cardbox, which I made right in front of you yesterday and you kept dropping hints about how much you wanted one with "pink paper and diamonds" on it.Your imagination is vivid--like today, when you "toasted" this tree with your lemonade glass in honor of your birthday, or when you made a cake with 4 candles out of a Tinker Toys this morning.You are my baking buddy. You love "secrets", tucks and water before you go to sleep. You learn songs so quickly; today in church, you sang the first 3 verses of "How Firm a Foundation" right along with me. I am excited to accompany all the singing and violin-playing you will do over a lifetime. I am excited to teach you piano in the coming years. I am excited to keep learning from your indomitable optimism. I love you,

Mom{I decorated the mantel with objects that symbolize you or have special meaning: the booties you wore at your blessing, the signs on your hospital cradle, your violin, your favorite book, a pink spray-bottle to represent your helpfulness, a CD of primary songs--you sleep to them every night, a doll for your sweet imagination (even though after hearing how much it hurt to have Madeleine you said you didn't want to be a mom :), some of your artwork, your "brown blankie" (it used to be light pink, but you just think it has always been brown) your tap shoe, a hat you loved, pictures of last year's Paris birthday...}

Let Them Eat Cake

Or frosting. My kids always get to lick the beaters when we are done. I love baking with them, and this PB frosting was too yummy to pass up. Isn't Avery adorable?

Each Day is a Masterpiece

I recently read some beautiful lyrics on my cousin's blog:

No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking
Better days are you gonna find you once again
Everything will find its place

This was a really fantastic painted egg Warren brought home from school. It lasted for about 1 hour--the hour that Avery was asleep. Then she smashed it when she woke up. Just like that, all that work and creativity broken on the floor. Sometimes my days feel like that. When they do, I am encouraged by the words of the scriptures, and of prophets and apostles in our day, like the following quote:

"Too frequently, women underestimate their influence for good. Well could you follow the formula given by the Lord: 'Establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God' (D&C 88:119)."In such a house will be found happy, smiling children who have been taught, by precept and example, the truth. In a Latter-day Saint home, children are not simply tolerated, but welcomed; not commanded, but encouraged; not driven, but guided; not neglected, but loved." (Thomas S. Monson)

I like that just after quoting a scripture about order, President Monson goes on to talk about "happy, smiling children." That is why I am letting some things go undone these days, or be put off until later. I'm trying to think of special, out of the ordinary things to do so I don't get sucked in by my email, phone calls, dishes, laundry, cleaning or whatever else that seems so important but really doesn't have to be done right then. Like Monday, I knew if I tried to cleanup before we left to my in-laws home for family night, that I would just get angry, and frustrated and probably "break" my day. So I holed myself up in Avery's room--which was miraculously clean--with all the kids and we practiced a puppet show about a book we like. It worked. We stayed happy and just like everyone says, the work was still there when I got home :)
Sometimes the day still breaks, and I am left crying on my bed wondering what went wrong, what is wrong with me, how could I have been so unkind etc. etc. I find this quote especially appropriate in those situations:
"When those feelings of inadequacy strike us, it is the time to remember the Savior. He assures us that we don't do this work alone. There are scriptures to put on your mirror and to remember in the moments when you are doubting your capacity."(Henry B. Eyring)
I am learning to find the beauty even in those moments of self-despair as I turn to my Savior and seek his help and forgiveness, and then turn to my sweet, quick to forgive, innocent children, and do the same. And you know what? They always forgive.
So in honor of living in the beauty of each moment each day--broken or otherwise--I present some of Warren and Abigail's art and work. I like art as an analogy for life, because art is often messy, art is often unpredictable, the beauty of art is in the eye of the beholder and there are so many different ways to make art. I recently cleared the art/work wall to make room for more, so here are some of my favorites that I want preserved for them to see when they are old.

Warren decided to draw himself one day. Unique, though, that he drew the inside of his body--the heart, ribs, veins and bones. It hung up for several months.
Warren's cactus drawing. I was impressed that the cactus wasn't just a stereotypically-shaped saguaro.
Abigail loves to use lots of colors within the same field of bounded space. I love the vibrancy and joy of this pumpkin.

Warren's first "dot game," as he calls it. See all those 4-digit numbers on the side? He added those using the dotted fields, putting each number in it's correct numerical value: 1's, 10's, 1000's, 10,000's. So cool to do in kindergarten.
One of my favorite Montessori works Warren brings home: 6 squares. They draw the 6 sqaures, the teacher writes something in the box and they draw it. I loved how each animal was just a little different.
Warren's continents in "6 squares." Reminds me of the song they sing every year at Intl. Children's Day, "Tell Me the Continents."
Some of Warren's first addition work.

Another "6 sqaures" with details to follow. (And yes, a chicken really did run through the sandbox, as stated here. They have animals at their school)
Abigail become the subject of one of Warren's "6 squares" work, since she is in the same class as him. The next drawing: "The cat was sleeping on a box." Note the zzzzzz's.

Warren's most recent family picture of us in our front yard--hence the driveway and the 2 (ficus) trees.

Not a noteworthy masterpiece? Well, if you live at our house, you see a lot of banners hanging on the mantel as I photograph them for Etsy or just display them for my own delight. For Mother's Day, I made myslef one that said, "QUEEN." Warren's drawing says: "CENG", which I can only assume is really "KING."

I thought this picture was so well colored that if it didn't have Abigail's trademark coloring style on Strawberry's jacket (see the pumpkin above), I'd have thought she brough home someone else's from the YMCA Childwatch.

Ode to Madeleine

Abigail's life is like a musical. She constantly is breaking into spontaneous songs and dances. In the car on the way home from school today she sang a rather long song for Madeleine in a very emotion-filled voice. I don't remember most of it, but here are my favorite lines I remember:

"Precious baby, I love you more than anything could be.
More than tender.
Love is a big hug, or kiss, or just a nice pat on the head.
You are the princess, the princess.
Mattie, you are the most beautiful baby; you skin is the prettiest, the prettiest.
Father in Heaven has sent you to me."

She then followed up her impromptu car performance with a Mother's Day number, presenting me with the gift she made at school. Here is that video:

What's Been Inspiring Me Lately

"Pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, 'We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as thou wouldst want them raised.' "
M. Russell Ballard

(for more, click here)