Abigail's First Recital

Last Sunday and this Sunday, Abigail performed her first violin recital: once at Aunt Julie's, and once at the Jennings'. It was the result of a whole year's work. I am not sure who it was a bigger accomplishment for--me or her? In Suzuki lessons, the parent, in this case me, attends every lesson and practices with their child every day; well, actually, just the days you eat. I will be the first to admit, we missed a few, especially when we were out of town this summer, but when life was "normal", I think we did really well. But that is not what I mean by it being my accomplishment, too. What I mean is that my personality practicing with a 3.5-4.5 year old can pretty much be a death-kiss on your relationship with that child. I expect a lot, and I already know how to play the violin, so it wasn't like I had to struggle along with her in that regard. But I struggled, and thankfully, I had other skills to learn from Heidi, Abigail's violin teacher and my dear friend.
Heidi taught me how to diffuse conflict, how to focus on just one thing to fix, how to take the focus off the negative behaviors, how to break things into manageable jobs and how to correct Abigail without inviting defiance. Really, I'd have paid her just for the parenting class! And, I learned this sometimes disheartening, but realistic truth: what worked yesterday probably won't work again today (with practicing, not everything). Sometimes I'd come up with the best, cutest game ever, it made practice time a charm, and the next day, it was old hat. The same problem or skill had to be practiced from a different angle. For someone like me, who likes routines because they assure that everything will get done, that is hard to swallow, but also a humbling reminder that I cannot rely on me alone, whatever the task may be. Inspiration must guide.
So what did Abigail play? 4 "Twinkle Variations" and "Twinkle Theme," aka "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." We spent the entire last year learning how to hold the violin, how to hold the bow, how to move the bow, how to hold her hand, how to place her fingers, how to play in tune, where to look and how to listen by playing those songs thousands of times. We did a few other little "song" exercise: The Bunny Song, The Kangaroo Song and Sunday-Monday Song, and we started 2 others--Lightly Row and Song of the Wind--in the mean time, but mainly, it was those. She did great. She has no stage fright, and loved walking up to play and all the clapping and bowing involved. She had a memory slip once or twice, but I am really pleased she can find her place and come back in with her accompaniment. I think being able to play through a mistake is one of the most valuable skills a musician can acquire. So I am really proud of her.
Abigail doesn't love to practice every day, but we still do it and once we're started, she likes it. I hope I can keep working on my parenting/practice skills so that playing the violin stays rewarding for her, and something we can enjoy doing together. I know my frustration sends the wrong message or interferes with the joy of being together and playing, so I've still got a lot to learn. But I'm thankful she is so forgiving and hope I'll keep being that way with myself.