My Madeleine

Oh how I love my Madeleine. She is almost a year old. If she had come "on time"--and really, what does that mean?--she would be a year old today. Instead, we celebrate her birthday 12 lovely days from now. Even from the start, Madeleine was determined to come only when she wanted to be here. A letter to Maddie:
Dear Madeleine,
Last week I told someone, "If Madeleine were not my baby, I would say she is a cranky baby. But since she is mine, she is just wonderful." I felt disloyal saying it, like I had betrayed the smiling little baby below. I am sorry. I know that teething, frequent ear infections, being carried around by older siblings and being the 4th child is hard. Thank you for signing up to come to our family anyway!

Yes, those things are hard, yes, you walked very early, and as a result you maybe get left to fend for yourself a little more than your siblings at your age did, but still, life is very joyful. You love to play peek-a-boo, and try to say it. You mainly just get the inflection right, but, oh you are so cute and proud of yourself! For months now, you have had a happy obsession with all things musical, but especially with the tone bells. Any chance you get to have them out of the case, you are playing away. Tonight, you would play a few seconds, then turn around excitedly to smile gleefully at me and dad. You also like to join in when I am doing vocal exercises, or singing. I'm glad you want to be an active part of our family.

Madeleine, your love of all things musical extends to dance. Really, how could it not when you see all the fun your siblings have putting on shows and dancing on the rug? Sometimes even dad and I dance. This was Thursday night just before dinner. I had the Cleanup Music on, and you were dancing solo on the rug. After a while, you walked up to dad and it was obvious that you wanted to dance with him. You love dad so much, especially in the evening when he has just come home, so this was a very happy time for you! My favorite, though, is when you dance alone. You lift both arms in front of you and slowly you bounce. It is hilarious.

You love to be outside, front yard or back. Somehow you daily survive the perils of our backyard just so you can be with the big kids, and get your daily dose of eating garden soil. Yum. You bring me oranges and tangerines you want peeled. I think that breast milk and bananas aside, tangerines off of Jim's tree are your main food source. You eat several each day, sometimes waiting for the seeds to be removed, but mostly not.
Lately at night you are not sleeping so well, but I really don't mind like I would've/did with your siblings. I am a little bit grateful for the closeness we get, lying side by side in my bed, hoping this counts as time spent one on one.
I marvel at your determination, and at how obvious it is to see the workings of your mind even when you can't verbally express them. You are so purposeful in what you do. I am delighted to be your mother, and I'm glad you like me and dad better than anyone else in the entire world. I feel the same way about you,

Love,
Mom